what am i in for?

I get so tired of the same old feeling. the lump in my throat that chokes every thought, every word that exits my mouth. the feeling of unimportance...but at the same time knowing im needed...i get so tired of always being "fine" every time im asked..i get tired of nobody caring to see that everythings not always fine. but in the midst of all of this..i somehow manage to always find comfort in the unseen. by the end of every day i end up limp in my saviors arms...helpless..but somehow strong...weak but somehow brave. i get tired of the same old feelings but i love the comfort of being held in the arms of someone so powerful..so strong..so loving..so....everything....even in the hardest times when i have no idea why im even here..or why im going through what i am..i cant help but continue to fall in love with God in new ways...i was thinking the other day and this came to me without going through test without what kind of testimonies would we have? its something to really think on..anyway..im going to go...

a true masterpiece

I watched the sun set tonight. it was astonashing. the colors blended together...perfectly. what i saw tonight could not have been painted in a picture, or written about..simply because there was not a single flaw in the piece of artwork in the sky..and every artist has flaws. the way the sun peaked through the clouds, very shy, very suttle. it was calming. the sun rays seemed to go on for miles, reaching the ground somewhere. that is where i long to be, where the sun rays meet the ground. such a peaceful place, where the beauty is so unique, one could not find the words to describe the land. in the sky i saw birds flying free, bound by nothing. flying in the gleaming streaks of light reflected off of the sun, flying delicatly, as if nothing in the world mattered to them, nothing other than the fact that they were free. they enjoyed being what God had created them to be. i find myself reflecting on this sunset, wondering why little things like this don't catch my attention very often. i seem to get caught up in daily life, in my own struggles, to even notice God's beauty. I think God paints the sunset like he does to show us that we too, are free indeed. God reigns and his beauty surrounds us, we just need to take the time to look around, dont look to hard though, or you will miss it.